Finch says funny things / 8
If you’re wondering why he would say some of these things, I have zero answers for you. But he sure makes up for it when he gets off the bus, runs toward me and says, “Mom! I’ve been waiting to see you all day!”
FINCH SAYS…
“I should clean the City Hall windows! I should be the man for the job!”
“I split my pants at VBS.”
“Brinch” = breakfast, lunch & Finch
“You know why I have so much energy? I’m drinking root beer. It has 160 calories!”
“The gorilla dog was smelling another dog’s butt!”
“I was breathing out my ears!”
“They bought that statue for a million dollars. I heard that on the website.”
”When I looked at my clock it was a bulls-eye right on 7.”
Aunt Kari: “It’s National Underwear Day.”
Finch: “Best day in the universe!”
“I never want Abby to stop babysitting us until I’m 94.”
Me: “Ew! I had a bug in my hair!”
Finch: “I’ve seen worse.”
Me: “Do you want to play Minecraft Dungeons?”
Finch: “You’re bad at Minecraft Dungeons. You’re a level 1 and dad’s a level 10.”
“There’s a ghost on the roof eating potato chips!”
“I just want to fart on you!”
“How do mimes get out of the invisible box?”
Me: “What did you have for lunch?”
Finch: “You know those bones that have chicken on them? Those.”
“Do you have to be 7 or up to drink 7UP?”
“The garbage for boogers is my mouth.”
Me: “Bud, did you get hot in your sweatshirt?”
Finch: “No.”
Me: ”Why’d you take it off?”
Finch: “I got hot.”
“Wanna know what BBC stands for? Big Baby Cheater.”
“It’s embarrassing putting my shirt on before my shorts.”
Me: “We need to go get flu shots soon.”
Finch: “Please get them at Target because I love those ones.”
“Turn the TV off. It’s embarrassing to leave it on.”
“I just want to help around the house and clean up. It’s all I ever wanted to do. But I’m not cleaning my room!”
“Good thing our car’s not a Tesla.”
Me: “What country do you want to visit?”
Finch: ”China, because I like beaches.”
“When you die, do you re-spawn on the earth after a year in heaven?”
”You know, Mom, you’re not too bad for 38.”
Aunt Kari: “What do you want for lunch?”
Finch: “A sandwich.”
Aunt Kari: “What do you want on it?”
Finch: “Turkey.”
Aunt Kari: “Do you want mayonnaise?”
Finch: “I don’t like chocolate.”
One morning Finch’s consequence for not being ready for bed by 8:00 pm the night before was to empty the dishwasher. He was a little bummed and in an attempt to encourage him:
Me: “It shouldn’t take you too long! Play a song and see if you can finish before it ends.”
Finch: “Alexa, play ‘The Song That Doesn’t End.’”
”Checkerboard is so last year.”
Finch: “Dad?”
Me: “He’s mowing the lawn. Can I help you?”
Finch: “Ugh, no! You don’t know anything about video games!”
“At first I thought karaoke was an accent.”
When he saw me yawning: “You’re fainting!”
Finch: “You know why I like these? Because they’re 180 calories. I’ll eat anything that’s 100 calories or more.”
Me: “What’s a calorie?”
Finch: “It’s at least something that gives you 100% energy. One calorie gives you 100% energy.”
Finch: “I just need a dozen more.”
Me: “Do you know what a dozen is?”
Finch: “Ten million bucks.”
”Is there a word more dangerous than ‘uh oh’?”
“It’s always been my dream to go to Iowa City.”
While waiting for it to be 7:00 am: “Dad, can I have fun? So time goes faster? Because time goes faster when you’re having fun.”
Me: “Can I have a hug?”
Finch: “Oh, I can’t say no to that!”
“mah ha hee hee” = mahi mahi
“foot nails” = toe nails
”egg wrap” = omelet
”chocolate quarter” = a penny
Me: “You’re so musical, Bub.”
Finch: “I know. I only sing rock songs. I want to learn how to work the piano.”
”I’ll give you an iPhone 13 if you clip my nails.”
“I was gonna say ‘what the hell,’ but I knew it was a bad word.”
“So … you getting me a blow horn for Christmas or not?”
“When mommy’s not happy, daddy gets a consequence.”