Finch says funny things // 10

Exiting the bathroom: “I wouldn’t go in there for a couple months.”

“When you were in Mexico did you see a little short guy named Brett?”

“Are there weekends in high school?”

“I was thinking of having a calorie dinner.”

Watching Ice Age: “Have you ever noticed Manny has two different colored eyes? They probably did that to save money.”

“In baseball they don’t have halves, they have … what are they called? Gilmores?”

“Mom has a history of losing her phone.”

“There’s Iron Man 1, Iron Man 2, Iron Man 3 and Toy Story 4.”

“That’s a face only a mother could love.”

“Lettuce makes me burp.”

Playing a soccer video game: “And that is how you get rabies.”

“You just made the juicy daddy club.”

“I love hot dads.”

Eric: “Your iPad is on its last leg.”
Finch: “My underwear’s on its last legs.”

At Rooney’s band concert: “Seeing her play the flute warms my heart.”

“Caitlin Clark is just unreal.”

“Good deeds are what I do.”

“I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M YELLING BECAUSE OUR PROXIMITY DOES NOT REQUIRE THIS VOLUME!”

Finch: *sneezes*
Me: “Bless you.”
Finch: “You’re welcome.”

Helping me with the laundry: “I’m a certified sock folder.”

Eric: “Who are your favorite players on the Los Angeles Chargers?”
Finch: “Elon Musk, Warren Buffet, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates.”

“Where is Mona Lisa’s grave? Isn’t she buried under the Statue of Liberty?”

In the car: “What are you waiting for? Play some Taylor Swift! Please.”

“What does ‘deja vu’ mean? Does it mean ‘good at sports’?”

“I’m a pure 100% Swiftie.”

“Can the average human lick his own armpit?”

“Scooby-dukes is when you get the chills in Florida.”

Finch: “Is Orlando in Miami? Tampa Bay? Jacksonville?”
Me: “How do you know all these cities?”
Finch: “I took biology!”
Me: “Do you know what biology is?”
Finch: “Yeah, it’s like learning about the systems in the body.”
Me: “How do you know that?”
Finch: “I took history!”

“I just threw up in my mouth. Barf doesn’t taste as you think it would.”

“If you let the ice melt, it’s like a free refill.”

“if tomatoes are a fruit, then is tomato sauce a slushie?”

“My back hurts. Father Time is undefeated.”

“I’m a damsel in distress.”

“Mom, full disclosure … I wasn’t really listening to you.”

“May I be absurd?”