baby #2 FAQ #5
I've gotten a few baby-related questions recently so I thought I'd answer them here. Can't believe we are down to three weeks (or less)!
photo by Hello Charlie for The Chick Beads
Did you go back and forth a lot before you decided you were ready for baby #2, or did the decision just kind of come along and stick?
I felt the urge creeping up on me last summer, but Eric wasn't really open to it because he was unhappy with his job and wanted to focus on that first. Once September hit (and he had just quit his job), I was like, "I need a baby in my belly ASAP!" Rooney was 2.5 then and it finally seemed like we could handle another one. And then it happened so fast! There have been several times during this pregnancy where I've been like "What were we thinking?!" but overall we're both happy with the three-year spacing.
Do you have any fears about what to do with Rooney when you are giving birth or recovering post-birth?
Yes! I'm glad that this time around I don't have to start from scratch on decisions like where he'll go to daycare or who will be his pediatrician, but one thing I did have to figure out was who will watch Roo when my labor starts. We don't have family in town and rarely use a babysitter, so I worry that she will not feel comfortable or secure when we leave for the hospital. I hope that we be able to sense that my labor is starting and have a few hours to prepare her, but it could be totally rushed and chaotic!
After the baby is born, I'd like Eric to stay with me in the hospital as I recover and to bond with the baby, but I also don't want Rooney to feel abandoned. She loves to spend time with her cousins, but if she goes there for a few days, will she feel like she's been replaced?
I know I'm not the first mom to feel these things and that Roo will likely not remember the details, but my mama heart wants the best for her!
What is your biggest fear leading up to the birth of baby #2?
Probably experiencing postpartum depression again. It was quite rough for the first few weeks of Rooney's life, until I stopped breastfeeding. If this time is similar, how will I handle that while taking care of a baby and a toddler?
I also wonder... What if this child is more difficult to handle than Rooney has been? Would I love him just as much, or would I resent him? What if my bond with him is not as strong as it is with Rooney? What if my kids aren't friends? What if Rooney wishes she had a sister instead???
Although parents having their second child are more "seasoned," they are also prone to irrational fears (aren't we all!). I'd love to hear about one of your irrational fears and how you overcame it (if you did!).
My siblings are the best gift my parents ever gave me, so I don't know why I'm so worried about how this baby will affect her life in the short-term. I have hope they will be close playmates and friends forever!